I live to float on the stars
To be swept up by the birds
To watch the art of the universe sing
or dance or cry
And fall back on my pillow
Uplifted, head lolling
And hear and forget the stress in my heart
To close my eyes and
move my eyes to view---
I'm
ascending
A journey to Heaven
A naive perception of art
A dandelion seed in the cosmos
carried away by Time and Space
Feeling
is fickle and altering and all there is.
My pulse washing over me
Eyes squinting and closing
Smile when it gets so cold
An indulgent Romantic
Journeying the Wall
I want to stand on one foot
Arms stretched out
Leaning forward
Eyes crinkling to see the wind blow
And feel the fragrance of Spring buds
Ornamenting me
wading through muddy water
in blackness
strained eyes and tendons
deflating at this struggle
drying up like a raisin in the sun
then i look up
searching in the sky
grasping at what i can't have
astronomically distanced from what exists
the Ideal
floating, drifting, flying
detached from earth, anchored to a light above
trapezing from city to city in blinks
whirling through seas and deserting
the world i know
escape in the darkness
the freed man
large, gaping wings on his back
angelic white
him, a ruffian
an outcast
scratching his grisly beard, he rests,
two-legged upon the firm soil of Nature,
opening his eyes to the sounds around,
he lives.
until he feels a pang in his stomach
and remembers he's late
he leaps, straight up, flapping his wings
then relaxes, falling.
content, smiling, floating.
health, tradition, memories, joys, pain,
sadness, solitude, nuance, independence,
security, insecurity, failing, proceeding,
i want to let go of self---
let priority place others ahead of mine
the suffering beyond the human condition,
the injustice, rings
corruption is complicit
look to history for models
live to be forgotten by business but
remembered in the citations of alternative history classes
yet.
laziness taunts my inaction
subtlety snares my heel
then horns sprout and i sit on my ass
is removing the box
the filter straining my mouth
my thoughts caged, internalized
collapsing to culture
or my perception of it
true connection precluded
leaving regret unknown
listening carefully and acting
is the moment
the box when crushed
opens up the wide expanse
of unfettered love
pandora's spirits trapped
by the radiance of authenticity
follows me
trailing my shadow
turn around to catch it out
then i peer inward
it has made a home
grasping at my chest
i can pull pieces out between laughs with my friends
but it's rooted within me
i can't extract it
why should i?
words falling from my parents' mouths
flying into my chest
making a home
inseparable
i can't escape it
why should i?
the ball in my chest weighing me back
i claw at it to get closer
reforming myself
the peace of expression
untrammeled viewing of the world
birds spark choirs in my heart
i am free
sonder
living in creation
comfort
safety
a mission
but the falsehood behind it
lurking
a wolf among sheep
there's no shepherd to save me
i lean into the wolf
jumping into its belly
and i find freedom in its intestines
frolicking in its innards
what was i afraid of?
the thoughtful conclusion
of four years
or at least the four days of writing they took
well --- it's more than that
the hours and sweat i've put into expression
into self-discovery
into opening myself up to admissions officers
while cowering under firm grammar and professionalism
a ballet dancer's balance
structure, simplicity, vulnerability,
a cracked facade
perfectly pried apart for them to get a glance
to peek inside the dragon's egg and hope for more
for beauty, for a phoenix rising from the ashes
(in twenty years or so)
(and the chick must have $400k gorged down its throat by its parents)
unweighted
not drifting but stable, intentional
wings on the back of a poet
of the inner dreamer
unrestrained, unimagined ideas arriving
and i'm not late, no luggage
jumping on
the ride is beautiful
the flight is beautiful
grounded
people
values
nature